Hi, my name is Beatrix and I was born on the 3rd of December. I graduated from OLGC, part of the alumni of '08, and SJC, 09-12. I'm Team NYJC now and I ♥ ISLE 2013 + my '1314 Truggers.
♥: TCF, the SJChoir family, the 2F + 4G clique cliques. I am socially awkward, I loathe a lot of things and I'm rather sarcastic (but I'm contented with this, thanks).
I am very fussy and nitty-gritty, I like coffee and tea and I adore ballads and acoustic music. I also complain a lot and like to repeat myself.
I guess sometimes when I don't smile it might look like I'm rude, but I actually just have a case of chronic-bitchface syndrome hahaha. More me?
TCF | Livejournal | Tumblr | Twitter | Instagram
TCF | Livejournal | Tumblr | Twitter | Instagram
plains
#134: intercellular spaces,
Tuesday, November 9, 2010 at 6:45 PM
so long, i'm just a heartbeat away, this dreary love doesn't know where to stay
things are a mess this week. but i thank God, nonetheless.
Yesterday was with the failures up there :'> the three fools we are, seriously. Hotel 626 and fail. HAHA. amazing shiz.
home is a car wreck. get it?
I'm taking advantage of the cuts just because I can.
So i feel myself extremely pensive on some days. i'd be in the least proper, because my thoughts won't stay still. i find myself wondering, thinking, afraid, curious and so many things. and it feels like i can't address all my worries :/
i didn't ask to love SHINee so much. i didn't plan to love them. it's the easiest love i can give, and the most important to me (Even though there will be other priorities, but still.) because it means a lot. it's hard to explain why. but i never planned to get hurt or be a shawol. it's just something life planned. and i find myself smiling a lot more ever since then. i didn't know what i was doing before i discovered this - literally. because i actually couldn't remember.
but then there are times when being a shawol takes a toll on me. it's so harsh because i get hurt thinking about things that make me sad being a shawol, which are rare, but present. and it just reminds me all the more i should stick to real life. but then if i can find a hundred reasons to give up this love and dedication, i'll always find a million reasons not to, because i love them, just like that. and it's hard for me to ever give it up. there are always worries in fandom. but the last i recalled, fandom was this feeling that made you so overjoyed. it's like the group's anniversary is even more important than your birthday - that sort of thing.
it's like so many times i find myself questioning why i was put in this place in the first place. but i'll never give up being a shawol. not even because of heartbreaks, or when the earth shakes. i'll always love them, even if i can't show it very much because it's beyond my control <:) it's one of those times where i can't control anything anymore. i'm feeling empty and undefinable. but the ot5 always makes me smile again. always.
YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE A SHAWOL FROM THE BEGINNING.
YOU JUST HAVE TO BE A SHAWOL TO THE VERY END.