dear you,
i was thinking pretty much the whole time that maybe it was best if i gave up. i remember how we would have endless amounts of things to say. but these days it's just like this is it. this is how far we can go. i remember how your texts used to be happy, caring and long. but right now it's just one-lined. there's no emotion behind it. you just sound like you have nothing to say. cold. desolate. that's it.
of course, i knew in the beginning things couldn't get any worse since a week ago when things dropped like a bombshell. i guess it was just too much to even hope to keep you even after everything. i've figured out we don't need each other as much as we thought and i only wanted to walk away because it was the best for both of us to take time off. because we have nothing left to lose, because we don't know how much we mean mutually anymore. there's no reason to stay.

it pains me to realise something like this. it hurts even more knowing i should have realised this probably close to three years ago. of course, it's even worse knowing that i have to be the one with an undisclosed motive for suggesting we stop all contact and put what's long over as past. you probably wouldn't remember much anymore after a while but time's a-ticking. i'm tired. a part of me will always love you, but we've both 'settled' and i guess that leaves things as close to platonic as it will get. i have suppressed endless regrets and all of them have ended in failures and tears. there's nothing left to say that is mine.

i'll remember that we could have been. but things happen for a reason. i hope you'll be happy without me because it's these times where i know more than ever, you won't think of me during the sad songs, you won't think of me whenever you're alone, whenever you're feeling empty, whenever you receive a text. you probably won't remember me like you did back then. this is how friends should be. friends that couldn't keep more than they were meant to.
i'll remember all the laughs, the inside jokes, the typos, the sweet moments, the times we smiled to our phones and maybe even the photos and times we met, albeit there were few. my greatest regret will always stay. days and months will pass. maybe only then will i forget what was supposed to be.

take care.

Labels: memes