every time you forget me and every time i see that particular name that makes my gut burn down and the pain race to my heart, i just can't wait to die. i can't wait to cry rivers because you never bothered about me. even though you said you always would (and all the things i really don't want to remember right now - all the things you said yourself). but right now, i've been so torn down, so disappointed and downright broken by you. so much so that i can't even feel myself getting upset anymore. actually i still do get upset. but the thing is that after so many times, i'm just so used to it. there's this strong lingering of past experiences and expectation because i know exactly what will happen and disappointment will ensue. again. i know history will repeat itself and i know i can't trust you. which is why time after time again, i refuse to go back. i refuse to continue a dying conversation. which is why i refuse to remain friends, but can we really? seeing how i'll probably end up seeing you anyway in the months to come.