i just want to be honest for once because right now my thoughts are driving me more insane than ever.
seriously, going from more than something to less than nothing was just something i could've dismissed easily thinking you changed and were like that to everyone, only to realise all this time that it was, is and had always been just our something important go to waste like that. knowing that i probably mean less than you say sucks but right now i'm so afraid of becoming emotionally attached and vulnerable again. i had always been all this time. i can't tell you now, not ever and i kinda hate to admit it but this feeling tells me i sort of miss you. I CAN'T. I WON'T. I JUST WON'T.
worst of all, i don't want these feelings to rekindle. don't tell me they never left.
to be as honest as i can, what kills me is that you fail to make me feel secure. you obviously prefer someone else. i don't have to tell you. you're just avoiding this. this is as best as will come and sure enough, stagnant is as best as we'll ever have. especially when we haven't talked in 2 months. that's a record, isn't it? or has it just felt like two months?

well that was easily put.